


He'll Remember One Day

by orphan_account



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Canon Compliant, Pre-IT Chapter Two (2019), Repressed Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-24 00:10:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21090110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Somehow he knows he’ll have to remember one day, but meanwhile he can be comfortable, in the arms of his wife, safe and cared for.





	He'll Remember One Day

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this like 10 minutes ago, hasnt been beta read.  
Reddie is only implied, for now, sorry... Can't really tag on mobile   
Hope you like it?

His dreams are always full of memories of being younger and happier. Memories of a fight against his fears, sometimes and somehow taking the form of a leper. He never remembers when he wakes up. He’s only left with the feeling of forgetting something important, but he doesn’t know what it is.

It’s normal, he thinks, forgetting about your childhood in such a horrible town. A town where his mother used to coddle and control him, where he used to run from bullies that would almost try to kill him, where he doesn’t know if he even had friends back then. He must’ve, because if not, how did he survive all those years of misery?

Currently, he watches TV next to his wife. He tells himself he loves her, but realistically, he probably only likes her because she’s somehow familiar in the way she makes him feel. They have been married for 10 years, marrying after only one year of having met. His college friends always told him that marrying her was a bad idea, but he doesn’t talk to them anymore, so why would their opinion matter?

He doesn’t talk to many other people these days, Myra doesn’t approve of most people he has met. Maybe only his boss, and some of his coworkers. It’s important to have good relationships with your boss, Eddie-bear. You don’t want them to dislike you if you want a good career. It’s something Myra always tells him. And it has worked, so Eddie is grateful for her. He’s grateful for having her taking care of him. (He is also grateful that Myra isn’t as sex-oriented as he sees other people be. He doesn’t know how he would handle having to fuck her every night.)

The thing is, Eddie loves Myra very much, but, he is not sexually attracted to her. At all. Sure, most times he can get it up, but afterwards he only feels violated. He, of course, would never tell his wife about this, he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. Myra isn’t ugly at all, in fact, she’s beautiful, even after gaining some pounds with the years. There’s just something wrong with him.

Something has been wrong with him for years, maybe since he was born. He doesn’t remember ever feeling other way. He doesn’t know what it is, he never tried to discover it, but he also doesn’t want to know. He likes his life as it is, it’s good. He has money, someone who takes care of him and a nice house, he doesn’t need anything else. He’s perfectly fine like this. Sure, there are some things he would change about his life, but they are really small things. His medications, maybe his job, some things around the house, he’d have some friends that aren’t from his job, the size of his bed, their bedroom, decoration, his hobbies, his memories.

He wants to know. What is behind that fog? There is something important behind. But he doesn’t want to try and remember. He isn’t sure he’d like what is there. He sees it in his dreams, sometimes it’s terrifying, but sometimes it’s wonderful. His nightmares always wake him up and leave him restless, but his dreams about the past leave the most beautiful feeling behind.

Somehow he knows he’ll have to remember one day, but meanwhile he can be comfortable, in the arms of his wife, safe and cared for.There is no risk here, while he watches some weird comedy special he found himself liking for some reason. He doesn’t know who the comedian is, and his jokes are gross and vulgar, but he finds himself laughing softly and fondly. He does this for some minutes, but his wife ends up changing the channel, leaving the comedian behind with his foggy memories.

**Author's Note:**

> Idk where i wanted to go with this, maybe I'll write a sequel where he remembers. Also, there's nothing wrong with not feeling sexual attraction, this is just how Eddie feels right now.


End file.
